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People the Iron Sheik Hates

Sports, Guest Lists | March 31, 2010

Featured Guest List by The Iron Sheik

One of the most famous professional wrestlers of all time, the Iron Sheik was an amateur star in his native Iran and in the United States before becoming a professional in the early 1970s. A decade later, he had become one of wrestling's most hated heels and, ultimately, the WWF champion. The master of the suplex and camel clutch lost the belt to Hulk Hogan in one of the biggest moments in professional wrestling history, paving the way for 15 years of Hulkamania. Now retired, the 68-year-old Sheik recently has enjoyed a bit of a career resurgence based on his penchant for firing off profanity-laced, scathing commentary on his fellow wrestlers and other celebrities. These days, the Sheik is making appearances and selling his own line of funny Iron Sheik t-shirts. He’s also a constant presence on Twitter and Facebook.

Sheik Show

All of the words below were provided by the Iron Sheik (with the exception of a few editorial comments in parentheses). The views expressed in this list are those of the Sheik alone. They do not represent the views or opinions of The Top 13 or its staff (though they do make us laugh). Also, if you're easily offended, you may want to go away. Now, as only he could, the Iron Sheik briefly (and profanely) introduces his Top 13.



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Hulk Hogan

1

Hulk Hogan

Without Iron Sheik, without Rocky Balbito, Hulk Hogan is nothing. Hulk Hogan be fucking janitor in the gym. I want to let you know that I make the Hulk Hogan. He was in Minnesota and Mr. McMahon said, "Come to New York, my champion Iron Sheik lose the belt to you. You be like Michael Jordan. You be like O.J. Simpson. You be like Muhammad Ali." But I want to let you know Hulk Hogan, you are fucking asshole. You forgot about Iron Sheik. You don't even return my call back. You are not fucking man. I never respect you. Fuck the Hulk Hogan, that fucking jabroni.

Watch the match in which Hogan defeated the Sheik for the title below.

Mario Lopez

2

Mario Lopez

I was at the Grammy Awards (January 31, 2010). Lionel Richie, the Lady Gagaga, Black Eyed Pea, Randy Jackson, Beyonce, Jay-Z (see picture below); I love them. All was nice to the Iron Sheik. They love him. God bless all of them. Fucking Mario Lopez was the only one who wasn't. Mario Lopez, I saw you, punk. You are fucking jabroni. You turn your back on the Iron Sheik. If you come to the Iron Sheik, Mario, I suplex you, I put you in the camel clutch. I'd make you humble, Mario Lopez. You are piece of garbage.

Jay Leno

3

Jay Leno

Jay Leno, you are a fucking ugly double jaw. You always want Terry Bradshaw, Hulk Hogan to your show. I know Terry Bradshaw is the great football player, one of the best, like Joe Namath. Why you don't invite the Iron Sheik, the legend, to your show? Jay Leno, you can go fuck yourself. I want to let you know, Regis Philbin, David Letterman, they are good people. I love Jimmy Kimmel; he's a good man. They invite me to their show. But I want to tell that double ugly jaw piece of shit, you are not Jay Leno - you are Gay Leno.

Watch Regis interview the Sheik at 4:15 below.

The Ultimate Warrior

4

The Ultimate Warrior

Fuck the Ultimate Warrior. This is number one cocksucker in the WWF. He thinks he was better than everyone. He wanted private locker room. He wanted private limousines. He thought he was better than the new generation. Hulk Hogan deserved it. Hulk Hogan, it's ok. But Ultimate Warrior is a big cocksucker. He shot himself with Deca in his ass. He don't deserve private limousines. I saw Ultimate Warrior three years ago, and I scare him. Ultimate Warrior says, "I need the security. I need a policeman." But all the New Jersey policeman and security, they know Iron Sheik is a good man.

Watch what happens when an event organizer tries to get Sheik and Ultimate Warrior to shake hands below.

Bubba the Love Sponge

5

Bubba the Love Sponge

Bubba Love Sponge, I don't give a fuck. You suck Hulk Hogan's ass. Always about Hulk Hogan. But Howard Stern Show number one in the world. Howard Stern know I'm the Iron Sheik, the legend. I have respect for the intelligent Jew man Howard Stern (Sheik says he'll be back on Stern's show on June 10th). But I want to let you know Bubba the Love Sponge, and Bruno Sammartino already know, if you put on your wrestling boots or wrestling trunk, I suplex you, I put you in the camel clutch, I break your fucking back, and I make you humble. Fuck you, Bubba the Lemon.

B. Brian Blair

6

B. Brian Blair

That fucking jabroni, he says his background amateur high school wrestling better than Iron Sheik. I say he's a no good liar, piece of garbage. He's never Iron Sheik. He's never Dan Gable. Iron Sheik, Dan Gable, we are the best amateurs. Not Brian Blair. Brian Blair was a high school wrestler. Fuck the Brian Blair. When I saw him at my roast, I slap his fucking face. He told me, "Mr. Sheik, I'm sorry. I'm not Olympic wrestler like you. I apologize." I accept his apology. But Brian Blair sucks. He's no good fucking jabroni piece of garbage.

Watch highlights of the Iron Sheik roast below, including - at about 0:50 - the altercation between Sheik and Blair.

Miley Cyrus

7

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus, you live in America. Only in America, she can get fucking break, be a millionaire. But you don't work for fucking shit. But only in America, you can make money and you can be a star. She's young punk. She don't know hard luck like the Iron Sheik because she born in America – greatest country. And fucking she don't pay for her dues, but she get break and she is big star. She's a fucking dumb son of a bitch.

Tiger Woods

8

Tiger Woods

I want to let you know Tiger Woods the greatest, the best. Every hundred years, mother born baby like Muhammed Ali, Michael Jackson, Iron Sheik, and Tiger Woods. But Tiger Woods, he becomes the best golfer, he gets excited. After he becomes the best, he forgot about his background. He wanted more pussy and he fucked it all up. Fuck the fucking Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods, you deserve life in Islamic country, in a Muslim country. We suplex him, we put him in the camel clutch. We make him humble and he never, ever again cheats his wife. He's a fucking number one gold digger. He cheat his wife. I hate that motherfucker.

Beetlejuice

9

Beetlejuice

I love Broadway. I love Madison Square Garden. I love Howard Stern. Number one in the world. But Beetlejuice is a jabroni fucking little midget. I'm a big man. I don't fuck around with the little midgets. One of my little fingers is as big as fucking Beetlejuice. He can go fuck himself. Beetlejuice doesn't know about the Iron Sheik. It's easy to humble Beetlejuice. Without Howard Stern, Beetlejuice is a little midget, absolute piece of garbage. Fuck the Beetlejuice.

Watch what happens when the Sheik and Beetlejuice cross paths behind the scenes at the Howard Stern Show.

Carlos Santana

10

Carlos Santana

Carlos Santana, you are another Tito Santana. I beat the fuck out of Tito Santana in the Wrestlemania. And I'm going to fuck that motherfucker, too, because he's a piece of shit. I wrestle the Carlos Colon, greatest Puerto Rico champion, and I beat him, and I beat the fuck out of Tito Santana, too. But I want to let you know, Carlos Santana, I can beat the fuck out of you, too. You don't want to talk to me? You no worth the fuck.

Watch the second half of a match, probably from 1984, between the Sheik and Tito Santana.

Justin Bieber

11

Justin Bieber

Compared to some people like Michael Jackson, Justin Bieber's a jabroni. He's a carpenter, he chop wood, he's like a Steve Lombardi - that is, he's a fucking douchebag nobody. He don't pay for his fucking dues. He's not Michael Jackson. He's not Frank Sinatra. He think he's a big shot. Justin Bieber, go fuck yourself. If I saw you again, I suplex you, I put you in the camel clutch, and I break his back. I make him humble. Have a good day.

Michael Jackson

12

Michael Jackson

I love Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson, the greatest, the best. Every hundred years, mother born a baby like Muhammed Ali, Michael Jackson, and the Iron Sheik. Michael Jackson, he is genius. But he loved the young boys before he died, so I didn't like him. Michael Jackson, 40 years old or 50 years old, he was around the young boys, 10 years, 15 years. I didn't respect him. If I had seen him with the boys, I'd suplex Michael Jackson, 150 pounds, I'm a stronger than him. I'd put him in the camel clutch, I'd break his back, I'd make him humble. And then he will respect the boys and the legend. He knows the Iron Sheik is the man.

Maz Jobrani

13

Maz Jobrani

He's the greatest Iranian comedian. But he's not the Iron Sheik. I did video for him, but he made it joke and doesn't show me respect the Iron Sheik deserve. If he want to be Iron Sheik, I say I suplex him, I put him in camel clutch, I break his back. He can try to copy me but he cannot be me. I am the only one. Every hundred years, mother born a baby like Muhammed Ali, Michael Jackson, and Iron Sheik - not Maz Jobrani.

Watch the video the Sheik filmed for Jobrani's stand-up special.

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Comments Leave a comment

Buddah 

So great in so many different ways.

10:04 AM   Mar 31, 2010

jasun 

Greatest.

10:08 AM   Mar 31, 2010

jason ★★

Anyone else surprised he didn't call Maz Jobrani a jabroni?

10:45 AM   Mar 31, 2010

KungFuJay ★★

Fuck you, Bubba the Lemon.

11:50 AM   Mar 31, 2010

stillathreat ★★

I am humbled by the greatness of the Sheik.

12:25 PM   Mar 31, 2010

blix 

this is so fucking incredible

12:53 PM   Mar 31, 2010

ianblowgun 

God bless Sheiky Baby. I'm amazed B. Brian Blair is only #6, because I believe he was the original target of HUMBLING.

1:31 PM   Mar 31, 2010

PulpAffliction ★★

This list is basically the best fucking thing that has ever happened. Ever.

Sheiky Baby, you can make me humble any day.

1:58 PM   Mar 31, 2010

heather 

i don't even like wrestling, but this is brilliant!

2:23 PM   Mar 31, 2010

radiowxman 

Go after B Brian Blair all you want, but if you say one bad word about Jumpin Jim Brunzell, it's on.

9:10 PM   Mar 31, 2010

oshoney 

best list.

2:08 AM   Apr 01, 2010

hulk 

wow.

6:45 AM   Apr 01, 2010

eeezoe 

So funny! I suplex him, I put him in camel clutch, I break his back!!!!

2:07 PM   Apr 01, 2010

yellowbird 

Fucking Mario Lopez

2:53 PM   Apr 01, 2010

byrone 

love. how did i go my whole life and never think of gay leno?

8:13 PM   Jan 05, 2012

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